📌 Society (VIP) Exclusive Webinar: Speaking Success Protocol – Deconstructing My Best Speech (That Got a Standing Ovation and Bye to the Speaking Jitters!)

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If you’ve been hiding behind the label of “introvert,” this one’s for you.

I thought I could build my business without speaking publicly. Work with leaders one-on-one, write books, and stay behind the scenes where it is safe. But here’s what I’ve learned (and what I always tell fellow introverted leaders): if you want real impact in your career, you have to get visible.

Here’s the reality: Big stages. Real scrutiny. You will be judged.

But that’s a worthy price to pay, if your message goes further, and you make a more positive impact on the world.

So, time to stop hiding.

You can’t skill your way out of a psychological trigger

The biggest problem I faced since 2022 was the intense meltdowns that occurred before every speaking event.

Lost sleep. Lost appetite. Sometimes for weeks before a single event.

But like many of you, I was so good at concealing my fears and putting on a strong front that no one knew. And I mean no one.

Here’s the ridiculous part, though:

I was already good at speaking in front of an audience. For 14 years, I spoke creatively, engagingly, off the cuff every day as a teacher. I even have a wicked sense of humor and make people laugh spontaneously!

So when I finally confided in some childhood friends about my speaking anxiety, they were baffled: “You spoke in front of students every day for 14 years. How is speaking to adults any different?”

That question broke everything open for me.

Because they were right—I already had the skills and personality. The fear was coming from somewhere else entirely.

But barking up the wrong tree, trying to fix a psychologically rooted problem by going nuclear on public speaking courses, or spending 60 hours rehearsing for a 60-minute speech, was exactly how I was destroying myself.

This is the exact problem I see in leaders everywhere: when we face a challenge, we look for the solution outside, when actually, we need to look inside.

Things came to a point where I knew the next speech was going to send me into a mental breakdown, I might never recover from.

That’s when I decided to change my approach completely.

The Courage to be Seen (On Stage)

Fast forward three years. April 2025. I’m standing on stage in Osaka, Japan, in front of 250 people at a global summit. Blinding spotlight. No slides. No notes.

And for the first time in my speaking career, I’m not terrified. Here’s what happened:

When I looked back, the real win wasn’t the standing ovation, but by delivering a message I truly believed in, and feeling fully myself.

Listening to the words reverberating in the ballroom, I got goose bumps.

This was one of the first times I felt fully capable and comfortable to reveal my true self.

The irony was that I didn’t need to go crazy preparing. I only needed to prepare in a way right for me.

Without forcing and by simply allowing, everything finally fell into place.

Developing Your Own Speaking Success Protocol

The thing was, I took three years to discover my speaking success protocol.

And you don’t have to wait for three years.

I made a webinar specially for my Society (VIP) members. I hope you will join me because with the right approach, you can find comfort and ease speaking to hundreds, thousands very quickly.

That’s taking a shortcut out of needless suffering.

In this 45-minute webinar, I reveal the Speaking Success Protocol that took me from invisible meltdowns to ease on stage.

This session is especially valuable if you’re a leader who wants visibility but freezes when the spotlight’s on you. If “practice more” hasn’t fixed your speaking anxiety (and maybe even made it worse). If you know you’re qualified but still feel like a fraud every time you’re invited to speak.

Here are the 3 steps I walk you through:

1. Deconstruct your fear
Your anxiety didn’t appear randomly—it has a specific origin. And until you find it, no amount of training will help. I’ll show you the exact questions to ask yourself to trace it back to the source.

2. Turn your fears into goalposts
Most people try to eliminate what scares them. I did the opposite. Flipping the script, I turned my greatest nightmares into success metrics I can actually control. Instead of being “perfect”, I made myself “perfectly capable” in handling anything thrown my way.

3. Build YOUR skill stack
My game-changing skill was the Leadership Storytelling. Generic speaking advice often fails because we all require different skills. I’ll show you a set of what works for me, so you can then build a personalized skill stack based on YOUR triggers, YOUR communication style, YOUR definition of success. With that, you’ll find the courage to be fully seen.

Two ways to get the webinar

1. Single webinar USD 59

   Speaking Success - Single Webinar USD 59

2. Or join the Offscript Society (VIP) and get a complimentary CliftonStrengths 34 assessment (worth USD 59.99), AMAs on maximizing your impact, unlimited access to expert webinars and replays, Society chats.

Free Webinar + Strengths assessment

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Check out the rest in this series on Breaking Up With the Fear of Public Speaking

1. The Speaking Success Protocol Webinar (Free for Offscript Society (VIP) Members)

2. Live on Substack with Public Speaking - Getting Started

3. Live on LinkedIn: Public Speaking - Personal Brand

4. Live on LinkedIn: Public Speaking - Expecting the Unexpected

5. Live on LinkedIn: Public Speaking – The Corporate Skillstack

P.S. My learning from the first live!

• position yourself further away from the camera!

• I (still) dislike my voice but that’s ok!

P.P.S. Anyone keen to get started with live videos? Reach out to me!

The webinars begin this month!

The Speaking Success Protocol Webinar:

21 September 9 p.m. EST || 22 September 2025 9 a.m. Singapore

After countless speeches and refinements, I've perfected a protocol that actually works—proven by the standing ovation at the WIT Global Summit.

For the first time, I'm pulling back the curtain on the exact speech that transformed my walk of shame into a walk of fame. You'll see my Speaking Success Protocol in action, decision by decision, word by word—from opening hook to final applause.

What you'll get in this live session:

→ Complete speech deconstruction with my personal commentary on every difficult choice I made

→ The storytelling techniques that turned my deepest fear into my greatest strength

→ Protocol implementation in real-time—exactly how I applied each of the three protocols throughout the presentation

→ The "obvious but missed" techniques that separate good speakers from unforgettable ones

Live Q&A included—bring your speaking challenges and get personalized guidance.

To join the webinar, you have 2 options:

Purchase a single webinar: USD 59

Get behind-the-scenes

Or join the Offscript Society (VIP) and have unlimited access to expert webinars and replays, Society chats, Q&As, and events in Singapore. (Paid members can upgrade here, too.)

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"The most confident speakers I know are absolutely terrified before they perform. This isn't a contradiction—it's the secret."

The Walk of Shame

The lights turned on. I walked onto the stage, heels clicking as they hit the parquet flooring, echoing through the hall. The audience ceased their chatter, and anticipation filled the air. My heart was pounding like a trapped deer in my chest. I tried to calm it using box breathing, but nothing was working.

I started. Hours of preparation all for this one moment. I felt scrutinized under the intense light. It didn't help that I spoke immediately after a speaker I felt intimidated by. Compared to her, I was nothing.

"Do I look stupid and incompetent compared to the previous speaker?" I asked myself. But it was too late to back out now.

With half my mind worrying about looking stupid and incompetent, the worst thing that could happen to a speaker happened. I forgot the next line.

I stopped, pretending the pause was planned and thoughtful, but inside, I was scrambling. My brain searched every corner of my mind, trying to recall the line. Miraculously, it popped into my head. To cover up my mistake, I spoke with more gusto, and my cheeks burned from the effort.

But was that actually the flush of shame reddening my face?

As my last word reverberated through the hall, the audience broke into rowdy applause. I smiled stiffly and waved as I walked off the stage. But as soon as I lowered my gaze, it instantly felt like a walk of shame.

Because I had failed. Despite all the hours of practice, I had forgotten my line.

What I didn't know then was that my mistake wasn't the problem—the story I told myself was.

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The Destructive Relationship with Performance

But who could blame me?

In my work with leaders, I've learned that most fears have origins—whether it's the fear of public speaking, speaking up at work, or living under constant judgment.

For me, that origin was a hauntingly familiar and destructive pattern from my days as a concert pianist: over-practice to perfect a piece, become anxious while performing, make a mistake because I was worried about making mistakes, then walk off the stage in shame.

Under a notoriously harsh and emotionally unstable teacher, mistakes were not tolerated. I remember the performance when the worst thing that could happen to a pianist happened.

My fingers, stiff with anxiety and fear, struck the wrong note. I managed to make it to the end without breaking down and walked off the stage in shame. The audience applauded—they were none the wiser—but I was terrified. Awaiting me backstage was the death sentence.

My music teacher wagged her finger at my face angrily. Her shrill voice still rings in my ears: I was devoid of talent. A disappointment. Ungrateful to her kindness for teaching me despite being so untalented.

My one wrong note wasn't just a mistake—it meant I was a mistake.

Eventually (luckily), she grew tired of my mediocrity and passed me off to another teacher like unwanted trash. My compassionate new teacher tried to rebuild my confidence, but the damage was already done.

Eventually, my piano went silent forever. When I started working, I grabbed the chance to stop playing. "Too busy," I claimed. But the truth was: I never wanted to be under scrutiny again.

The fear didn't stay confined to music. For years, I avoided any stage, any moment where I might be judged and found lacking. It affected everything—my ability to speak up in meetings, to present ideas, to put myself forward for opportunities.

Performance anxiety had become life anxiety.

But life, in its wicked ways, always has other plans.

At 37, I ventured into entrepreneurship and found myself speaking on stages once again. Like coals that had never cooled, the performance anxiety came rushing back as if it had never left.

Rewriting the Story We Tell Ourselves

Desperate for a cure, I enrolled in speaking programs.

At one program, I shared that I was there to overcome my fear of public speaking. My classmate, an accomplished actor, said something that shattered everything I believed:

"The performance anxiety is something that will always be there. Even for actors. We learn to give it another meaning, another story."

Instead of hopelessness, I felt instantly relieved. I realized I'd been treating fear like a disease when it's actually part of being human. The real problem wasn't my fear—it was the faulty story in my head: that I needed to be perfect to be worthy. Just like my harsh piano teacher had convinced me decades earlier.

That's when I understood: we need to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves about what our emotions mean.

I see this same transformation in my Leadership Storytelling work. When I ask participants to write their "failure stories," something powerful happens. One leader told me the exercise transformed her biggest professional setback from a source of shame into a learning story that actually strengthened her credibility and conviction.

Research confirms this: when leaders reshape failure narratives, they turn setbacks into fuel for innovation. When we stop seeing mistakes as evidence of our permanent inadequacy and start seeing them as proof of our courage to try something meaningful, the fear naturally diminishes.

Speaking Success Protocol Webinar

My Speaking Success Protocol

Understanding that fear was natural was only half the battle. I still needed to learn how to work with it practically. But first, I had to rewrite the fundamental story I was telling myself.

My New Story

Instead of "My fear means I'm inadequate and don't belong here," I learned to tell myself something completely different:

"I'm not here to perform and show that I'm worthy, but here to serve and share a message I truly believe will benefit humankind."

This shift changed everything. I wasn't on that stage to impress anyone or demonstrate my value. I was there because I had something meaningful to offer—something that could genuinely help the people in those seats.

The same hammering heart that used to signal "you're about to be judged" now meant "you're about to serve." The fear was still there, but it had a different job: reminding me that what I was sharing mattered enough to make me feel something profound.

Through many honest conversations with myself and my coach, I developed three performance standards that supported this new story:

Protocol 1: Connection Over Perfection

I stopped obsessing about flawless delivery and focused on two key elements: engagement and storytelling.

Did I create shared moments of laughter or recognition? Did my stories make people feel heard and seen? Success became about connection, not perfection.

Connected audiences become co-conspirators in your story—they laugh with you, lean in, and leave inspired.

Protocol 2: High Performance Routines

I got serious about protecting my energy and peak state before presentations. I said no more often, avoided energy drains like social media doom-scrolling, and created routines that supported optimal performance when it mattered most. Understanding my Cliftonstrengths answered a big part of the puzzle.

Understanding your CliftonStrengths helps you find the shortcut to your peak performance.

Protocol 3: New Perfectionism

Instead of manic over-rehearsal (I once practiced 60 times for a 60-minute keynote!), I channeled my perfectionist tendencies productively. I listed everything I feared could go wrong and prepared strategically for each scenario—forgotten lines, technical failures, hostile audiences. This gave me confidence without the anxiety.

Old Perfectionism: Doing everything perfectly.

New Perfectionism: Perfectly prepared for anything.

I will write about these in the subsequent posts so stay tuned.

The Walk of Fame

The real test came at the Women in Tech Global Summit. Three hundred people. I was nobody in that room, but I had my Speaking Success Protocol to guide me.

Backstage, my heart hammered just as violently as it had on every stage before. But this time, I said hello to the fear instead of fighting it. I walked onto the stage knowing I'd applied all three protocols—I was as ready as I could be.

As I spoke, I felt the familiar flush in my cheeks. But this time, I knew what it was—not the burn of shame, but the heat of being fully alive, fully present, fully engaged in something that mattered.

When I finished, the audience rose in a standing ovation. To my surprise, I was called back because they wouldn't stop clapping.

As I walked off the final time, I realized: my walk of shame had finally become a walk of fame.

The Speaking Success Protocol Webinar:

Immediately available to Society (VIP) Members when you upgrade today.

Unlock Speaking Confidence

After countless speeches and refinements, I've perfected a protocol that actually works—proven by the standing ovation at the WIT Global Summit.

For the first time, I'm pulling back the curtain on the exact speech that transformed my walk of shame into a walk of fame. You'll see my Speaking Success Protocol in action, step by step.

What you'll get in this webinar:

• A reframing protocol that replaces self-doubt with certainty — You’ll learn to silence “Am I good enough?” and know that being invited means you’re already qualified. You’re there to share, not impress.

• Your personal success blueprint from your biggest fears — Turn what terrifies you most (silence, blank stares, feeling unsafe) into 2-3 concrete metrics you can prepare for and achieve every single time you speak.

• An authentic skill stack that creates lasting influence — Master leadership storytelling and engagement techniques designed for YOUR style, so audiences remember you for substance and impact — no performance required.

Two ways to get the webinar:

1. Purchase as a single webinar: USD 59

Get behind-the-scenes

2. Or join the Offscript Society (VIP) and get a complimentary CliftonStrengths 34 assessment (worth USD 59.99), AMAs on maximizing your impact, unlimited access to expert webinars and replays, Society chats.

Become a Society Member

If this helped you, sharing it would be the best thank you I could ask for.

Share

Have a question? Post it in the subscriber chat.

Here’s the lineup of events under the series “Break Up With Your Fear of Public Speaking”

1. The Speaking Success Protocol Webinar (Free for Offscript Society (VIP) Members)

2. Live on Substack with Public Speaking - Getting Started

3. Live on LinkedIn: Public Speaking - Personal Brand

4. Live on LinkedIn: Public Speaking - Expecting the Unexpected

5. Live on LinkedIn: Public Speaking – The Corporate Skillstack

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This may surprise you: The most dangerous career killer isn't lack of talent—it's how you handle rejections.

I nearly abandoned my coaching business after one prospect said no. One.

After 14 years of teaching authority, where students listened and parents respected me by position, business rejection felt like personal annihilation. The shame was so crushing I wanted to disappear forever.

That dark voice (hello, inner critic) whispered: "You're not good enough. Who are you to think a former math teacher could make it as an executive coach?"

Until I discovered something that changed everything...

The Story That Rewired My Brain

One day, as I grudgingly studied "sales and marketing," while (still) moping around, I heard something that stopped me cold.

A coach named Rich casually shared how he'd been rejected 73 times before landing his first yes. Seventy-three.

The kicker? He said it with pride, like a badge of honor.

My one rejection versus his 73? Why was I drowning in shame while he sounded almost... excited?

That question wouldn't leave me alone.

Why Rejection Hijacks Your Brain

Here's what I discovered: when rejection hits, your brain treats it like physical pain. It launches into fight-or-flight mode before rational thought can intervene.

If you've felt your heart race or cheeks burn with shame after hearing "no," that's not weakness — that's survival wiring. For our ancestors, social rejection meant death.

Each new rejection reopens old wounds.

But here's the breakthrough: healing those wounds is what frees you to succeed.

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The Defense Trap That Sabotages Success

When threatened, we unconsciously armor up to protect ourselves. But that protection becomes a prison.

My defensive cycle looked like this:

• Fear → Hypervigilance (scanning for threats everywhere)

• Misinterpretation → Seeing rejection where none existed

• Overreaction → Shutting down or snapping back defensively

• Real damage → Actually creating the rejection I feared

• Repeat → Stuck in the same destructive loop

I've watched talented leaders fall into this trap — afraid their ideas will be shot down, they become defensive, creating the very rejection they were trying to avoid. Sometimes, on the other end of the spectrum, it stops them from putting their hands up for bigger jobs just so there’s no chance of getting rejected.

The Turning Point

After hearing Rich's story, I faced the truth: I hated how fragile I'd become. Every question felt like an attack.

I had two choices: retreat to teaching (though I'd already given away my materials) or figure this out.

Because the shame of asking for my materials back from my former colleagues would be too much to bear, I chose to hunker down and make my new career work.

That's when it clicked: Rich didn't see rejection as the opposite of success. He say it as a part of the process to achieve success.

The difference wasn't our skills. It was our relationship with rejection.

My Breakthrough: The Re4 Method

I didn’t break up with the fear of rejection alone and worked with a coach. I was struggling and knew I had to get help because I can’t overcome this alone.

Together, we studied a few of my stellar rejections and did a retrospective analysis. Along with it, she helped me shift my mindset, and that made rejections sting less. (If it helps you, I’m opening just three slots of single sessions to help you with your fear of rejection whether it’s in sales or at work.)

To simplify the process, let me offer you the Re4 framework from my book, 8 Paradoxes of Leadership Agility.

Step 1: Reconstruct the Map

Recognize multiple truths exist.

A "no" doesn't mean "you're not good enough." It could mean timing, fit, budget, or a dozen other factors.

If you allow yourself to see other truths, you'll find rejections less stinging. Contrary to popular belief, it might not be you after all.

Step 2: Refresh the Lens

Challenge your assumptions.

Instead of: "They rejected me because I'm not qualified," or "They hate me!" Try: "This wasn't the right fit" or "Perhaps they'll be generous to give me valuable feedback if I ask."

If you jump to the assumption that rejections mean people reject you as a person, you're missing out on many good people in the world you can learn from.

Feedback is a gift, just ask.

• What's the worst they can do to you?

• Not answer the question, which is a pretty mild response, to be honest.

Step 3: Renew Your Identity

Choose a better role.

For a long time, I was the sage – the expert whose word should be accepted without question. Being questioned made me angry.

So I switched. At 38, I was a student entrepreneur with much to learn.

Once I embraced being a student again, the sting of rejections disappeared.

Step 4: Rebuild Your Capabilities

Turn every "no" into a growth blueprint.

Each rejection became data:

• What was the real reason they said no?

• Where did I lose them in conversation?

• How can I improve next time?

I sharpened my skills in building trust, reading cues, and making complex ideas simple.

The Transformation

Over time, I got my YESes (Thank goodness it didn't take 73 rejections to get there.)

Nowadays, if a prospect asked: "How do I know you're the right coach for me?"

Old me: "Well, I have 14 years of experience..." (defensive edge)

New me: "Great question. Let's explore that together..." (curious openness)

The difference? Night and day.

Each rejection became a step forward, not back. I stopped defending my ego and started protecting my growth.

The Lesson That Changed Everything

Rejection isn't anti-success. It's an essential raw material of mastery that leads to success.

Every "no" teaches you something a "yes" never could.

The question isn't whether you'll face rejection. It's whether you'll let it shrink you or strengthen you.

Choose growth. Choose curiosity. Choose to be a student again.

Your breakthrough is waiting on the other side of your next "no."

P.S. "Speaking of breakthroughs - I didn't break free from rejection fear alone. I had a coach who helped me do exactly what I've shared with you today. If you're ready for that kind of support, check this out.

Personalized Strategy Session (Only 3 slots available!)

If you're tired of letting past rejections dictate your future decisions, I'm opening up three personalized strategy sessions to help you extract the competitive intelligence hiding in your "nos." I had the support of a coach, and I want to offer support to you too.

These aren't for everyone - just leaders ready to stop nursing old wounds and start leveraging them for strategic advantage.

What makes this different? Instead of avoiding rejection or pretending it doesn't hurt, we'll discover what your rejections are trying to tell you.

Investment: USD 680 (Paid subscribers and Offscript Society (VIP) Members receive 30% off as my way of saying thank you for being part of this community.) (Discount code is already in your DM!)

Book Your 1-to-1 Strategy Session

What’s your take on today’s topic? Do you agree or disagree? How has fear of rejection shaped your leadership journey? Do you find yourself avoiding certain conversations, opportunities, or decisions because of past "no's"?

What else should we consider when breaking free from rejection paralysis?

Leave a comment

If this helped you, sharing it would be the best thank you I could ask for.

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Join OffScript Society, an exclusive community of change-driving leaders with access to upcoming masterclasses featuring proven strategies from my global coaching practice across 40 countries. Members also receive expert webinars, leadership Q&As, and exclusive discounts on intensive training programs.

This week's focus: mastering trust and influence without authority—the critical capability for leaders who must drive transformation and secure buy-in across organizations where titles don't guarantee results. These skills will amplify your personal influence in every professional and social context.

What’s coming in August: Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking

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